9 Phrases Graphic Designers Hate to Hear
I like what I do! For this reason my job doesn’t always feel like work and its fulfilling knowing that my work is successful in communicating the client’s message. This blog post is mainly for Graphic Designers who have been in the job for a while. It is a bit of a comic relief for us. I came across this the other day at Some Design Blog and it just made me laugh.
9 Phrases Graphic Designers Hate to Hear:
“I can’t really explain what I’m looking for, but I’ll know it when I see it.”
That’s OK, because I’m also a part-time psychic, so guessing what you want based on no information shouldn’t be a problem. Oh, wait I’m getting a premonition… I see this project costing you huge amounts of money.
“My wife/daughter/nephew/friend has an eye for this kind of thing. Maybe they can help you design it.”
Perfect. I’ll just add my babysitting charge onto the quote I provided you, then we’ll be ready to get started! Just so you know, my babysitting rate is actually 3 times what I charge for design.
“Can you give me the design as a Word document so I can make changes myself?”
You know, you’ll never believe it but not one of my design programs has a function to export to Word. It must be some kind of conspiracy because Word is clearly the best tool for the job. Oh, that reminds me: I ran into your mechanic. He wants you to call him because he has some questions about your request that he rebuild your engine out of Lego so you can do your own repairs.
“I started doing this myself, but ran into problems, so it shouldn’t take you more than a few minutes to polish up what I’ve done.”
I always say the most rewarding part of my job is trying to salvage someone else’s mess. Just give me a moment here, I need to phone my electrician to tell him how easy it’s going to be for him to fix my home wiring job. Oh, that reminds me… I need to call the fire department too.
“I’ve been meaning to call you for weeks now. The deadline is tomorrow.”
Oh, good. It’s so handy that the universe works in such strange ways that a project magically takes less time if you leave it until the last minute. I also had a feeling that you might call, so I told all my other clients to take a hike so I could drop everything to do your project.
“I’m not an artist, but here’s how I would do it.”
Thank you so much. It’s really a pain for me when I have to use my skills and professional judgment on a project. In fact, I find that the most effective way to get anything done is to hire a professional, then tell them how to do their job. Later today I’m going to tell my doctor how to perform my colonoscopy.
“I can’t afford a logo design right now. Can you just design me a business card and come up with some sort of logo while you’re at it.”
No problem. I’ll get on it right after I order my lunch. I can’t afford a hamburger, so I’m going to order a pickle, then ask them to just throw a hamburger underneath it while they’re at it.
“I don’t have a copy of our logo, but you can get it off our website”
No worries. I don’t bother keeping track of things that are important to my business either. That 100 pixel wide gif from your website will look awesome in the billboard I’m designing for you.
“Sure, I supplied the text and signed off on the proof, but you really should have noticed that obvious typo. I really think you should pay for the 100,000 copies of the brochure that are already printed.”
You must have noticed our free scape-goat service where we accept responsibility for all our clients’ mistakes. It’s very popular and has made us the top charitable organization in the country. On the downside, we’re $50 million in debt.
I have experienced everyone of these scenarios.